Hai Dhan. Five years from now you will leave Jakarta and go to Yogyakarta. The city you loved back in the college years. I just want you to know, things will get messy. You will break up with your girlfriend and you will hurt yourself. And it’s not the worst part. You will lose your job. Twice, all because of the pandemic.
The worst part of all this unfortunate event is, you doubt yourself. You stop reading books, stop writing, and day by day, you put yourself in bed wishing nothing but death. For two years you will hate yourself, cut yourself, and for most of it, you will hurt anyone that really care. But you will survive it. You have no choice.
One of those dark days will drag you down. But eventually you find friends. New and old friends that really care about you. Then you start to take care of yourself. You walk, first only a kilo, then two, three, and you will walk 10 kilometers a day. You start cooking, you find peace in the kitchen, making sambal and foods for your friends.
Along the way you will get help. You find mistakes in yourself. You find errors and wrongdoings in your past. You will regret it all, you will teach yourself to take responsibility, and within years, you will hold yourself accountable. It’s hard, it will make you hate yourself, but eventually things will get better.
You will try to find love. You failed of course, because you did not finish with yourself. But then you find another love. In books, in writings, then eventually you wrote two books in a year. Yeah, two whole books. One of them will get an exclusive contract and you get your own movies. The story of your life on the big screen!
So, from now on to years to come, things will get hard. It will never be easy. But you have no choice but to move on. To push yourself and be better everyday. And someday, you will meet yourself again. And thank you for surviving all these hardships. You made it kiddos.
